The Wine Press : Wine is the modern-day ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’

wine-gal.jpgLet’s face it. Wine can be a confusing, intimidating and sometimes an even downright scary topic under the right (or maybe wrong) circumstances. Many times we find ourselves agreeing with the opinions of other people, whom we believe know what they are talking about, so as not to sound foolish.
Most of us have encountered a person who falls into the distasteful category of the “wine snob.” I like to further break this category into the sub-categories of the “wine bore” and the “wine bully.”
The wine bore is the person who talks endlessly about trivial details and his own personal wine experiences as if everyone in earshot knows exactly what he or she is talking about and is hanging on his or her every word.
In reality, the wine bore usually delivers their tedious diatribe in a dispassionate voice, causing a light and casual conversation to feel more like reliving your grandmother’s story about having her feet scraped and how “the girl was far too hard on my corns.”
The wine bully, on the other hand, is much more forceful in presenting their opinions. They use very strong and colorful analogies and metaphors when describing why a wine is either absolutely wonderful or terrible beyond belief. Everything they say is so absolute that to disagree would amount to challenging the wine bully to a duel (Cabernets at 15 paces).
By the way, both of these people can also be found amongst sports fans. One talks about batting averages, yards rushing and rebounds, while the other screams at the top of their lungs about the virtues of “their team” and belittles you mercilessly for even the smallest positive comment towards any other team.
If I might leave you with one important tip for the next time you encounter a wine snob, please remember that enjoying wine is subjective.
Everyone has different tastes and one person’s favorite wine might be undrinkable to another. Chances are, even if you manage to get a word in edgewise, you will not change a wine snob’s mind nor impress them with your opinion.
I suggest you find a way to avoid them and take solace in a glass of whatever you really enjoy drinking. I’ve done it more than once.

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