Sometimes I receive funny emails that are just too humorous to keep to myself. Local realtor Bill Miller sent this to me a while ago and I had to share it with my favorite folks– the readers of the Signal Tribune. I usually save such things to run in my column when I need to be away from the office– well, I wrote this up last week knowing I’d be ditching work on Wednesday, October 1 to go to Disneyland for my annual trip. Enjoy…
• The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
• She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
• A rubberband pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
• A grenade thrown onto a kitchen floor in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.
• Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on
• I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
• A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
“Keep off the Grass.”
• A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to
a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask
how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.
• In democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.